In a few days time, I will be admitted to candidacy for the diaconate and priesthood – one of the “last few steps” in seminary formation before ordination. In line with this, I will be posting some fruits of my days of prayer and reflection in preparation for the said activity last weekend at Sacred Heart Novitiate.
"Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found."
Luke 15:22-24
I have not been a good son to the Father.
I know and I admit that I have been unfaithful.
But he has remained faithful to me.
He has been waiting all along, and even ready to give me a new ring. I am shocked by this generosity and graciousness of the Father. I deserve to be cast away, or even unaccepted at that. But he welcomes me with open arms. I know I don’t deserve the ring I got from him, and all the more I do not deserve receiving another after losing the first one. But he continues to love. He continues to accept. And he continues to love me as his son.
In a few days, I am accepting another ring: the ring of commitment to celibate life, the ring of admission to candidacy for the priesthood. I do not deserve it. I have been an unfaithful son. But you keep calling me, you keep waiting for me, you keep loving me. I am afraid to take this ring because I know I am not strong enough to receive it. I know I have my own failings. I know that I can be unfaithful again. Give me the grace to accept this ring and live out what it means to be your favorite son.
“Tanggapin mo lang ang singsing. Maging paalala sana yun na lagi kitang hinhihintay, lagi kitang tinatawag, at lagi kitang minamahal.”
But I am afraid to take and wear this. You know my struggles, Lord. You know my tendencies, you know my weaknesses, you know how easy for me to fall into sin. I don’t want to fail you again – that I would pawn this ring and not get it back again.
“Tanggapin mo lang ang singsing. Maging paalala sana yun na lagi kitang hinhihintay, lagi kitang tinatawag, at lagi kitang minamahal.”
Sometimes I wonder, why are you like that? You’re all loving, all caring, all good. I for one am wicked and wretched. But you still call me. I have nothing else to feel or say. I am thankful for this opportunity. Stay with me. Be with me. Because I can’t do it alone. Because I will fall and fail without you. Remain with me. I need you to be there to help me become faithful to your call.
“Tanggapin mo lang ang singsing. Maging paalala sana yun na lagi kitang hinhihintay, lagi kitang tinatawag, at lagi kitang minamahal.”
deo gratias.
No comments:
Post a Comment