#marchto192k12

the reason behind my change of relationship status from "single" to "engaged."

on the feast of saint joseph, the HULMA (hinirang upang laging maglingkod) class of san jose seminary were admitted to the candidacy to sacred orders by his eminence, gaudencio cardinal rosales dd, archbishop-emeritus of manila.

thanks to the san jose seminary community, alumni, the family and friends of the HULMA class, and everyone who made this event a truly memorable one. thanks also for your prayers and support!

HAIL SAN JOSE!

Pagtanggap, Pag-amin, Pagpapatuloy

Tomorrow, I will be admitted to candidacy for the diaconate and priesthood – one of the “last few steps” in seminary formation before ordination. In line with this, I will be posting some fruits of my days of prayer and reflection in preparation for the said activity last weekend at Sacred Heart Novitiate.

Admission to Candidacy to the Diaconate and Priesthood. Ano ba talaga ito?

Hindi pa naman ito ordinasyon sa pagka-diakono o sa pagpapari. Hindi naman ito ganoon kalaking pagdiriwang kumpara sa mga nabanggit na ordinasyon. Ngunit bakit siya lubhang malahaga?

Siguro, dahil ito ay nangangahulugang malapit na o palapit na sa ordinasyong matagal na pinakahihintay. Siguro, dahil ito ay naguhudyat ng pagsusuot ng singsing bilang tanda ng pamumuhay ng "promise of celibacy" sa siyang bahagi ng buhay pagpapari. O di naman kaya siguro'y may iba pang kahulugan ito.

May tatlong salita na puwedeng i-ugnay sa salitang "Admission" sa wikang Filipino: una ay ang PAGTANGGAP, ikalawa ay PAG-AMIN, at ikatlo ay PAGPAPATULOY. 

PAGTANGGAP. Sa Admission to Candidacy, tinatanggap ko ang biyaya ng Diyos sa pamamagitan ng isang mas malalim at mas konkretong pagtugon sa tawag niya sa pagpapari. Tinatanggap ko na malapit na ako sa susunod na yugto ng paghuhubog sa buhay pagpapari: ang ordinasyon. Tinatanggap ko na may kaakibat na responsibilidad ito, at hindi ito biro o laro lamang. Sa pagtanggap nito, kailangan kong tanggapin ang aking sarili bilang minamahal at tinatawag ng Diyos. Kailangan ko ring tanggapin ang tawag niya na lalo pang ag-ibayuhin ang aking paghahanda at pagtanggap sa biyayang ihinahanda niya para sa akin. At sa pagtanggap na iyo, ako ay nagpapasalamat sa Diyos. 

PAG-AMIN. Sa Admission to Candidacy, hindi ko lang inaamin na tinatawag at minamahal ako ng Diyos. Kailangan ko ring aminin na hindi ko kayang tugunan ito nang mag-isa. Kailangan ko ring aminin na sa kabila ng aking kalakasan ay may taglay din akong kahinaan at pangangailangan. At dahil dito, kailangan ko ring aminin ang aking pananalig at pag-asa sa Diyos. Kailangan ko ring aminin na hindi madali ang aking pag-pili. Kailangang aminin na may mga posibilidad sa aking buhay na magiging imposible dahil tatalikuran ko ang mga ito para sa kanyang tawag. At muli, hindi ko ito kayang mag-isa. Aaminin ko sa Diyos at sa taong bayan ang aking pagnanais na sumunod at mabuhay ng isang payak at buong-pusong pamumuhay upang makatugon ako lalo sa tawag niya. 

PAGPAPATULOY. Sa Admission to Candidacy, pinapatuloy ako ng obispo bilang isang ganap na hinirang sa bokasyon na ito. Pinapatuloy ako bilang isang seminaristang diyosesano na nagnanais na tanggapin ang biyaya ng ordinasyon sa takdang panahon. Pero higit pa rito, pinapatuloy din ako ng Diyos na sundin ang kanyang tawag, dahil sa kanyang kabutihan at pagmamahal sa akin. At sa kanyang pagpapatuloy ay tinatawag akong magpatuloy na tumugon at maging mapagkilatis sa kanyang kalooban sa bawat sandali ng aking buhay.

Nawa sa Admission to Candidacy na aking tatanggapin ay maipagpatuloy ko ang pagtugon sa kanyang tawag bilang paghahanda sa isang mas matindi at mas malalim na paanyaya upang magmahal at maglingkod sa kanya at sa mga taong ihinahabilin niya sa akin sa hinaharap.

deo gratias.

Suscipe (A reflection on the prayer traditionally attributed to Saint Ignatius of Loyola)

(photo source)

In a few days time, I will be admitted to candidacy for the diaconate and priesthood – one of the “last few steps” in seminary formation before ordination. In line with this, I will be posting some fruits of my days of prayer and reflection in preparation for the said activity last weekend at Sacred Heart Novitiate.

Take Lord, and receive 
all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, 
all that I have and possess. 
Thou hast given all to me. 
To Thee, O lord, I return it. 
All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. 
Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

During the mass, I found myself playing Fr. Manoling Francisco SJ’s “Take and Receive,” known in Ignatian parlance as the suscipe. It’s a song always played in masses and liturgies, a very usual song that I know by heart. But while playing it, tears flowed from my eyes and my voice got held back. I still can’t say it, knowing what the song means, and knowing that the hour has come for me to truly live what it says. But I just can’t say it, and I know why.

This song freshly re-echoes what happened before my election when I had my Spiritual Exercises almost five years ago. I found much hesitation belting these lines, knowing that it meant a lot of “surrendering” on my part. How in the world will I give to the Lord my will, my mind, my memory, all things I hold and all I own, the things he himself has given me. In doing so, I ask, what else is left of me? I’ll be giving everything, and I find it hard to do so because nothing will remain in me, even just a bit of my being. For someone who values and cherishes the gifts he gave me, I find it hard to give it back to him. These are the very things that define me, and the very things that I’ll be using in my life and ministry. Why should I give it back? How will I be an effective minister of his word and works without them?

It’s crazy and it may drive me crazy, but I have to. Whatever he gave me, I’m giving them back as a gift. Or perhaps, in the context of my forthcoming admission to candidacy, it means more than that.

The Ring (Revisiting the Story of the Generous Father - Luke 15:1-3, 11-32)

In a few days time, I will be admitted to candidacy for the diaconate and priesthood – one of the “last few steps” in seminary formation before ordination. In line with this, I will be posting some fruits of my days of prayer and reflection in preparation for the said activity last weekend at Sacred Heart Novitiate.

"Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found."

Luke 15:22-24

I have not been a good son to the Father.
I know and I admit that I have been unfaithful.
But he has remained faithful to me.

He has been waiting all along, and even ready to give me a new ring. I am shocked by this generosity and graciousness of the Father. I deserve to be cast away, or even unaccepted at that. But he welcomes me with open arms. I know I don’t deserve the ring I got from him, and all the more I do not deserve receiving another after losing the first one. But he continues to love. He continues to accept. And he continues to love me as his son.

In a few days, I am accepting another ring: the ring of commitment to celibate life, the ring of admission to candidacy for the priesthood. I do not deserve it. I have been an unfaithful son. But you keep calling me, you keep waiting for me, you keep loving me. I am afraid to take this ring because I know I am not strong enough to receive it. I know I have my own failings. I know that I can be unfaithful again. Give me the grace to accept this ring and live out what it means to be your favorite son. 

“Tanggapin mo lang ang singsing. Maging paalala sana yun na lagi kitang hinhihintay, lagi kitang tinatawag, at lagi kitang minamahal.”

But I am afraid to take and wear this. You know my struggles, Lord. You know my tendencies, you know my weaknesses, you know how easy for me to fall into sin. I don’t want to fail you again – that I would pawn this ring and not get it back again.

“Tanggapin mo lang ang singsing. Maging paalala sana yun na lagi kitang hinhihintay, lagi kitang tinatawag, at lagi kitang minamahal.”

Sometimes I wonder, why are you like that? You’re all loving, all caring, all good. I for one am wicked and wretched. But you still call me. I have nothing else to feel or say. I am thankful for this opportunity. Stay with me. Be with me. Because I can’t do it alone. Because I will fall and fail without you. Remain with me. I need you to be there to help me become faithful to your call.

“Tanggapin mo lang ang singsing. Maging paalala sana yun na lagi kitang hinhihintay, lagi kitang tinatawag, at lagi kitang minamahal.”

deo gratias.

Admission to Candidacy to the Diaconate and Priesthood